Pilot workshops
Starting this September!
Stones Place, Skellingthorpe Rd, Lincoln LN6 0PA
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Lincoln Growing Closer Through Play
Strong Together
Building on Firm Foundations-Final Conclusions
This morning was like groundhog day
My youngest refused to brush her teeth
Again
Instead of her usual
Houdini impersonation
I decided to let my eldest have a go
He was ‘Leader’
“Leaders always go first!” He proclaimed
“Ah…Leaders always go last actually” I responded automaticly
But do they?
Yang Yin or Yin Yang?
I want to teach my children to be assertive & get what they want in life
I also want to teach them to put others needs ahead of theirs
Yang Yin
I want to be a fun loving hands on parent
I also want to fully extend myself & challenge my abilities
Yin Yang
I want to facilitate others in their creative expression, healing & personal growth
I have to be self disciplined to make that happen
Yin Yang
Looking at this its easy to see what my priorities are
I can then structure my life around what’s important to me
I have a framework
Goals & Realistic Expectations
Jordan Peterson talks about ‘Optimistic Nihilism’
The need for a framework to give life meaning
When in reality there is no tangible meaning
Goal setting is great
Building momentum, getting results, feeling that buzz
But when I allow myself to get too caught up in all that
I loose who I am
I’m not the person I want to be for my children & I can’t help others
I would be very good at sales but I’m not being me
I need to let things grow organically
Self Acceptance
I really like who I am
I love my quirks & interest
I love how challenging & strong willed my children are
I have to bear in mind:
How can I parent them calmly, kindly & in a way that will teach
Through doing this I am not only helping them
I’m growing & developing myself
Patience, kindness, firm boundaries, diplomacy, passion for learning
If I can learn to relax and lead them I can lead anybody
Because there’s no greater challenge than parenting
Moving Forward
I need to move forward now, leading from behind
Learning to find balance in my life, so they can find balance in their lives
Its all very well hunting your dreams
But if you sacrifice others in order to get there it just creates suffering
Your not happy, you leave a trail of destruction behind you & it gets you in the end
I’m not mad keen on the term ‘Lion Mode’ but it is a very useful analogy
I need to look within, check in on myself & think:
“Am I being a strong leader-Mufasa king of all the jungle”
or
“Am I being a being Cain-Scar”
I need to make sure I’m always Mufasa not Scar
It’s so easy to set aside children & playtime
Focusing instead on all the big important jobs that need doing
But theres nothing more important than people
If I start to think there is, I’m in Scar territory & its time to step back
There’s a lot of me, I think there is in most modern day women
Somehow I need to find what works in all areas of my life
Venturing into the unknown with blind faith
Through trial & error moving forward
Learning as I go
Accepting that sometimes were not going to get it right
Making the most of the windows of opportunity available to us
Fully play
Fully work
Find that flow
Making every second count without pressure
Because life’s too short
I am happier when I achieve my goals
I am happier when I fully engage & play with my children
I am also human- Imperfect & prone to weakness
I am not able to rigidly stick to routines & parenting styles
I need to be flexible doing what is best for my family
And actually that’s ok…
“You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know,
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix your right foot with your left.”- Dr. Seuss
I recognize & accept my truths
In order to make my next move
Best get cracking…
Grow Parent-Grow Child
Useful Links:
Jordan Peterson- Simplified Motivational Speakers
Jordan Peterson- A ‘Rock Star’ Professor & Clinical Psychologist…
Dr Peterson has produced more than a hundred scientific papers exploring ideological belief, the psychology of religion & myths- How they dictate & regulate emotion, build a sense of meaning & purpose in life but their dark side can reveal motivations for genocide.
His books Maps of Meaning- The Architecture of Belief & his latest book 12 Rules for life: An Antidote to Chaos have inspired much more than ‘just’ his university & public lectures. His interest in social, abnormal & personal psychology has motivated him to create 2 online programs: UnderstandMyself & the Self Authoring Suite. Both are targeted at developing character & improving personal performance.
He is an advocate of free speech for all, not just for some. His criticism of Canadian governments bill C-16, postmodernism, identity politics & political correctness have caused a media storm.
He is a controversial but highly engaging character who has changed my perception of the world & increased my sense of personal responsibility.
Simplified:
+ “The better ambitions have to do with the development of character and ability, rather than status and power. Status you can lose. You carry character with you wherever you go, and it allows you to prevail against adversity.” – Jordan Peterson
+ “We require routine and tradition. That’s order. Order can become excessive, and that’s not good, but chaos can swamp us, so we drown— and that is also not good. We need to stay on the straight and narrow path.”– Jordan Peterson
+ “I don’t think that you have any insight whatsoever into your capacity for good until you have some well-developed insight into your capacity for evil.”– Jordan Peterson
+ “We must each adopt as much responsibility as possible for individual life, society and the world. We must each tell the truth and repair what is in disrepair and break down and recreate what is old and outdated. It is in this manner that we can and must reduce the suffering that poisons the world. It’s asking a lot. It’s asking for everything.”– Jordan Peterson
Useful Links:
Simon Sinek- Simplified Motivational Speakers
Simon Sinek: The voice of the workforce…
A bestselling author, optimist & trained ethnographer, devoted to inspiring people to do the things that inspire them.
He has a vision to fundamentally change the way businesses treat their workforce & implement change.
Simplified:
+ “Leaders are the ones who run headfirst into the unknown. They rush toward the danger. They put their own interests aside to protect us or to pull us into the future. Leaders would sooner sacrifice what is theirs to save what is ours. And they would never sacrifice what is ours to save what is theirs. This is what it means to be a leader. It means they choose to go first into danger, headfirst toward the unknown. And when we feel sure they will keep us safe, we will march behind them and work tirelessly to see their visions come to life and proudly call ourselves their followers.” -Simon Sinek
+”All leaders, even the good ones, can sometimes lose their way and become selfish and power hungry, however. Intoxicated by the chemicals, they can sometimes forget that their responsibility as a leader is to their people. Sometimes these leaders are able to regain their footing, but if they don’t, we have little choice but to look past them, lament what they have become, wait for them to move on and look to someone else to lead us.”-Simon Sinek
+ “All the perks, all the benefits and advantages you may get for the rank or position you hold, they aren’t meant for you. They are meant for the role you fill. And when you leave your role, which eventually you will, they will give the ceramic cup to the person who replaces you. Because you only ever deserved a Styrofoam cup.”-Simon Sinek
+ “Truly human leadership protects an organisation from the internal rivalries that can shatter a culture. When we have to protect ourselves from each other, the whole organisation suffers. But when trust and cooperation thrive internally, we pull together and the organisation grows stronger as a result.” -Simon Sinek
Useful Links:
Tony Robbins- Simplified Motivational Speakers
Tony Robbins is Evolution in Action…
A GIANT in leadership, life & business strategy, psychology,…
…Bestselling author, global philanthropist an entrepreneur…
He is without a doubt my No.1 Role Model
Simplified:
+ “The only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to higher level- – face & solve them now!”– Tony Robbins
+ “To effectively communicate, we must realise that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins
+ “Create a vision and never let the environment, other people’s beliefs, or the limits of what has been done in the past shape your decisions.” – Tony Robbins
+ “Nothing has any power over me other than that which I give it through my conscious thoughts.” – Tony Robbins
Useful Links:
Mel Robbins- Simplified Motivational Speakers
Mel Robbins is an inspiration…
Using neuroscience to explain why people succeed in life, bluntly telling you to parent yourself & using anxiety to fuel her excitement for life
Simplified:
+ “The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will stop you. 5 4 3 2 1 Go!”- Mel Robbins
+ “Getting what you want is simple, but it’s not easy.”- Mel Robbins
+ “You’ll have to FORCE yourself… Anything that breaks from your routine is going to require force. It’s the routine that is killing you.”- Mel Robbins
+ “You may not be in control of how you feel in the moment but you can always always always always be in control of what you think and that will change how you’re feeling…being present is literally nothing more than the skill of having your thoughts be in this moment not in the past not in the future but right here…catch yourself being distracted…that’s a moment of tremendous power because you basically just woke up use that wake-up call 5 4 3 2 1 and ground yourself in this moment.”- Mel Robbins
Useful Links:
Samaritans, Can I Help You?
Samaritans offer an invaluable service to people in crisis 24/7 7 days a week…
You don’t have to be suicidal, but if you do need to talk in confidence Samaritans are there to emotionally support you for as long as you need them to be.
Historical Importance of Lincoln
Chad Varah founded the Samaritans after feeling compelled to action when he was a young curate in the diocese of Lincoln. A 14 year old girl from Lincoln killed herself because she believed she had contracted an STD but was in fact only menstruating.
Samaritans Interview
Q. What do Samaritans do?
A. Samaritans offer emotional support to anyone who is going through a particularly destressing time. It’s not just for suicide which is a common misconception. It offers a people a safe space to explore their openly and freely about their emotions and helps them revaluate what they’re going through and hopefully relieve them of some of the panic and worry they are going through.
Q. How did you get involved?
A. I got involved through hearing about one of the selection days.
Q. What different services do Samaritans offer.
A. Listening volunteers provide emotional support on the phone, emails, texts and face to face. Support Volunteers help with fundraising and the Santa fun run, so even if you felt unable to provide emotional support you can still support Samaritans. Samaritans volunteers train up prisoners to become listeners within the prison. The aim is to create a self-contained emotional support system with in the prison. Listening volunteers involved in the Prison team go into Lincoln prison to emotionally support Listeners. In addition to the Listener scheme prisoners are also given access to a phone to call Samaritans 24/7 whenever they feel they need emotional support.
Q. What do the prison listeners do?
A. They are someone to go to if a prisoner is feeling particularly vulnerable or emotional and wants to talk about something. Prisoners can feel very isolated and a lot of emotions can come to the surface that they want to properly get out.
Q. How long is the training for Samaritans?
A. It’s a 10 week program which is once a week for approximately 2-3 hours is then followed up by a mentoring process for 6 months, for the first 6 shifts work with a fully trained listening volunteer, beginning the process of listening to and then taking calls. This is supported by 4 extra training modules spread out over the 6 months probationary period. After those 6 months, all being well you then becomes a full volunteer
Q. What does the training cover?
A. It explores the difference between being sympathetic and empathetic, how to handle challenging calls and abusive calls, the most effective way of providing emotional support and active listening. You also learn about body language and tone of voice. The use of the word why, before the training I never thought about the use of the word why and how that may come across on the phone, especially when you are not sat face to face with someone and they cannot see your body language. So you are learning to be extra careful with how you phrase things.
Q. How has this training helped you outside of Samaritans
A. It’s been useful for everyday conversations, it makes you revaluate what you say and how you can come across in many different ways. It’s a good life skill to have in general, just to be careful with how you say things
Q. Have you made a good friendship base through volunteering
A. A couple of the probationary volunteers are on the same course as me so we have got a lot closer by doing this kind of thing. There’s a diverse age range of probationary volunteers and it’s interesting how we all come from completely different backgrounds and we are going through different things but through the process of training we united.
Q. Is there anything else you would like to add
A. Only that Samaritans do not give advice, people who call up will not be judged or told what to do. It’s more about the callers realising for themselves what they need to do and volunteers emotionally supporting them through that process. It’s a safe space for people to talk in confidence about what they are going through, the calls are not recorded. There are only a few exceptions when we may need to break confidentiality, details of these are on our website.
Useful Links:
- SamaritansHelpline (free of charge):116 123 (UK)
116 123 (ROI)
7 days a week 24/7
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samaritans_(charity)
- https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Varah
Breakfast- Counting & Colours in French
Mealtimes with kids are great!
If you can distract them for long enough…
Otherwise its a living nightmare of projectile cutlery, porridge shampoo & foot toast (Because its tastier)
Mealtime Maths
- How many?– Bowls, cups, plates… are on the table?
- More or less– How many objects do you have? Is that more or less than mummy?
- Adding & subtracting– If we add together the 3 bowls & 3 cups how many does that make?
- Learning evens– Line up 2 rows side by side & count (2,4,6… using 2 fingers)
- Counting kebabs- Using dry spaghetti count on each hoop to see how many fit on
Creative Cereal
- Make eyes- Add raisins (into hole) to
- Making pictures– Shapes, flowers, smiley faces, letters & numbers
- ‘Draw round’ objects– Place cereal around an upturned cup when the cup is removed it makes a circle
- Mosaics or Sequencing Activities- Alternating cereal & raisins
- Bracelets & Necklaces– Thread hoops onto elastic
- Learning Shades– Is this one darker or lighter than this one?
Colours
- What colour is your…?– Bowl, spoon, cup
- How many?– Red, blue, yellow… Things can you see?
- I can see- 5 Red, blue, yellow… Things, can you find more?
- Blending colours– If I put blue & yellow together what colour does that make?
These activities are a great way to introduce a foreign language, I choose french as my parents live in France
1-20 in French
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20
Onze, douze, treize, quatorze, quinze, seize, dix-sept, dix huit, dix-neuf, vingt
French Colours
| English | French |
|---|---|
| Red | Le Rouge |
| Yellow | Le Jaune |
| Blue | Le Bleu (m), bleue (f) |
| Black | Le Noir (m), noire (f) |
| White | Le Blanc (m), Blanche (f) |
| Green | Le Vert (m), Verte (f) |
| Orange | L’Orange |
| Grey | Le Gris (m), grise (f) |
| Pink | Le Rose |
| Silver | L’ Argent (m) |
| Gold | L’ Or (m) |
| Grey (Eng) / gray (USA) | Le Gris (m), Grise (f) |
| Brown | Le Marron |
| Purple | Le Pourpre |
| Violet | Le Violet (m), Violette (f) |
( https://www.france-pub.com/french/french-colours.php )
Grow Parent-Grow Child
Useful Links
Counting in French 1-20:
Colours in French:
‘Shelly’ & ‘Angel’- Practicing Winning, Losing & Trying Again
A Play Session Dialogue
My children’s learning & development fascinates me
My eldest is heavily into role play, this is a dialogue of his interactions
Introducing:
‘Angel’– Shell on the right
‘Shelly’– Shell on the left
Snakes & Ladders
“Better luck next time Shelly”
“Well done Angel, well done Shelly”
“Keep going”
“Don’t worry Shelly you’ll catch up soon”
“Angel feels sad because Shelly’s all the way round, don’t worry, I think youll win the next round”
“Well done Shelly that was Amazing” (Kisses Shelly dramatically)
“Don’t worry Angel”
(Leaves the room to have a chat with Angel, making her feel better, comes back in the room:)
“Thank you (eldests name)” (Shelly talking)
(Eldest puts Shelly up to 100)
“Yay! I thought that was what I wanted to do!”
(Stops dialogue to use ‘Angel’ as a megaphone, trumpets)
“This is my cat Jess”
(Puts Shelly close to Jess’ face)
“You can stroke her if you want”
(Starts rolling both shells)
“Watch this Angel”
(Drops Angel)
“Sorry Angel!”
“Coming back Shelly!”
(Runs & gets Shelly, goes back to snakes & ladders)
“Angel can go first because Shelly won the last round”
“1,2,3,4,5 need 2 to get to ladder”
“Oh don’t want to get 1” (snake)
“Need a bigger number than that”
“Well done Shelly”
“Which side do you want to go on Shelly?”
We later played a game where Shelly had to ‘hop’ on all the even numbers up to 100
Angel had to ‘hop’ on all the odd numbers up to 100- Counting them out
Useful Links:
Winning & Losing
- http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=286&id=3008
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/pride-and-joy/201209/winning-and-losing
Play Therapy
- https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/play-therapy/
- https://www.jstor.org/stable/23900146?newaccount=true&read-now=1&seq=2#page_scan_tab_contents
My Growth Mindset Journal 